"and know the next time that you
make a wish upon a star
I'll be wishing on the same one that you do
and every night I'm all alone
in some burn out highway town
I'll be thinking of the day that I met you"
Sometimes I wish on a star, sometimes I wish on 7:28 because
it's my birthday, sometimes I wish at yellow lights and railroad
tracks, and sometimes I wish just for the hopes of my inner most
desires coming true.
My wish came true once. Of all those times, once it came
true. I remember it, it was one of the greatest nights because I
thought it was... Maybe wishing only brings you false hopes. Hopes of
one day having something you only dream about. Waking up, reaching
out, for what? There's nothing there. It's crazy how, here I sit,
with good friends, a place to call home, family, everything. I may not
take it in, but I have it all... yet I feel so empty.
I've got everything, except feeling. It hurts. It's like
it just keeps repeating itself. I keep getting crushed. I can't take
it. I keep putting up with shit, and for what... Exactly, just to be
fucked over in the end anyway.
"She's still cryin
Its over, it's over"
I guess
a lot of things have just been running through my head. This time of
year always drags me down. No matter how empty I feel, right now it's
like I'm in a bottomless pit. I want so badly to scream and yell for
help, but no one can hear me. There's no one there. What I want, I
can't have.
I really wish I had my dad here. He could give me advice,
tell me not to take crap. I always was a daddy's girl. I love my dad
more than anything. I look at his picture everyday. When I was out
Monday night, every now and then I would get flashbacks, of where I was
that night. I remember coming home, and listening to the
answering machine. I remember feeling so sick to my stomach that I
couldn't stand. I remember laying in my bed as my brother called my
house at 3am... I remember knowing. I remember placing my hand on his
heart, to feel a beat, but nothing was there. I remember it all.
Everyday. That was eight years ago... can you believe it. Yet, as I
sit here and remember, I can't help but cry.
I have that hole, that can never be mended. Which makes me
really sit back and look at my life. Why the hell do I take this...
why.
"Til the day we meet again
In my heart is where I’ll keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts big I just can’t define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time"
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